Lockdown and Self-Isolation – My Unintentional Me Time

Streets that look like empty film sets. Ghost towns. The odd, skittish person walking quickly to get a task completed before they head back into their fortress for the day.

However, there is a defiant lot. Those who refuse to adhere to a simple request for the safety of others and themselves.

It’s like walking into a dream. Even work has been changing for many people. Some are still working, although it might be reduced hours or increased hours depending on the profession. Some aren’t. Some have actually lost their livelihoods. It’s a global depression. It’s sadness.

Sure, that is what most people see. And while it is true, there are other sides to this. I’m not saying this is the greatest idea in the world. We are social creatures. We crave interaction with others. But from the depths of a crazy idea, an introvert’s dream emerges. What was once seen as a bane on people live’s is now in force. Remain indoors. Now, personally I have no problem with this. I believe my whole life has prepared me for this. I knew I was hoarding notebooks and pens and fiction books for a reason. Well, hello!

I haven’t really mentioned who I am yet. My name is Mariam. I work as a dental nurse full time but have found my time in work reduced. For my safety, for others’ safety. No, I’m not nuts. Our team has been split into two and we will be doing shifts and taking on only emergency patients. One team for one week. The second team team for the other. So essentially, I’ll be working two weeks out of four. The amazing thing is, I have a fantastic boss who is still paying us our full wages.

So I have two weeks a month at home. What to do with my time? Honestly, the potential is endless. I’m constantly trying to learn new languages, I’m always reading books. I’m a writer, so working on my book has become easier for me since I have the extra time. I have an online health and nutrition business to manage. I have people looking towards me for guidance. But I also have to go out and do daily tasks like shopping for two households. I need to look after my mother in the evenings. But still…limitless.

I always have a list of things to do. Always. Top of that list is always going to be look after my health. But with the potential of so many things to do and no clear end to this lockdown, there is still the fear that I may start feeling trapped. Luckily, the lockdown isn’t restricting us from our daily runs or exercise outdoors. The important thing for me is to take a step out from everything and re-focus. Channel my energy into wellness and creating a physical outlet for any anxieties and worries I have. Because it does work. Exercise. It’s hard for my mind to stay in a negative mindset despite everything. I see light at the end of every tunnel. If I don’t, I create the light.

I can remember the days though where I thought nothing would become better. My life would never be happy or full of joy. That was the problem. I THOUGHT. It’s taken many years and many life experiences to get to the point where I’m now focused on walking that path of stability amidst a forest of unrest. I won’t think of this lockdown as something negative.

This is our chance to do something incredible for ourselves. You’ve already seen how the waters of Venice have become clear and beautiful. You’ve seen life, real joyful life flowing back into cities devoid of humanity because we have all been told to retreat to our homes. We’re witnessing miracles. Miracles we can also create in our homes. It always starts with us. We are capable of some amazing things.

You know what I want when I finally come out of lockdown? Well actually, I already have it. A sheer appreciation for life and everything that comes along with it. The heartaches, the triumphs, the joys and the sadness. It all makes us who we are. I’m learning so much just sitting at my desk, or going on a quick run to clear my mind. It is a shame my gym is closed but I’m not mourning the loss of exercise. I’m prepared.

We have so many things in place that we forget how much we actually have. You have internet? You have access to millions of workouts online. You have internet? You can teach yourself a new skill or language. You have internet? You can keep in touch with your loved ones and let them know they’re thought of daily. You have internet? You can teach others that this is simply a beginning, not an end.

Lockdown. I’d love to give this a new definition. I’d love to call this the true discovery of self. Our characters reveal so much when we are tested. All we can do is continue to learn and grow. Remember, a bonsai grows despite how many times it is cut and shaped. So can we.

Photography by Bruno Figueiredo – Unsplash.